Walking home today i've been thinking about what Mish had said to me, i dunno what i should be doing. I know i currently may not have time for this but it seems like this is something i have wanted for a while. How odd, when you want something to happen, it doesn't but when you don't, it does happen.

Maybe i shouldn't be thinking about this situation right now and let everything just flow rather than just trying to figure out something and burden myself. I've always been the type of person to care about other people's feelings first hence the title of my post. But now that i think of my current situation, it seems that in the end i'll be the one who will be hurt the most. This all may not make sense to you but I like to say things in an indirect way just to avoid being critised or critising others.

What should i do? It's hard for myself to let go but then it may be harder to make someone else let go, but i feel i must do something before the situation gets worse. Who knows the situation could turn out just right but i know deep down that nothing lasts forever. I feel i should do what hurts the least but maybe that's not the right decision. Mel is right, hurting someone else does hurt me maybe even more than hurting myself. The decisions i make will have to be made cautiously to limit the pain i may cause though in turn i will learn something new and have more experience, it's all part of an inner journey. I always believed in the morals "Keep trying" and "Never give up" and it makes me wonder what i need to consider in this current situation. You never know what will happen unless you try.

This kind of links to the game 500 xD Where when you're considering of bidding "Open Misere", the risk you take won't mean anything in this game but in life the risks do matter a lot. In this game, the risk would be that the 3 cards in the middle don't satisfy you and give you a disadvantage. In my problem, the risk is of losing a friend, I'd rather keep the friend than lose it but the decisions I make regarding this will affect the outcome. What if i decided to let go for my studies? Depending on the person, we either can still be friends or we won't be able to handle a friendship, though i prefer the former.

I can let the situation flow and see what opportunities come my way, though in the end the outcome wouldn't be a very happy one, in that case i'd lose this friend. I'm stuck on the fence, i'm kind of weighing to the side of just letting go to save the amount of pain that i will cause. But then this is a new experience for me and will benefit later on in life. I don't even know why this is bothering me so much, I know i have other things i should be doing right now but it just seems that i need to let all these thoughts out. I'm not one to leave everything to myself.